Depression Escapes No One!

Low energy, little to no motivation, crying spells, questioning your entire life and circumstances, feeling hopeless and less enthusiastic about the things that typically brings you joy? Experiencing all of these things and more, all at the same time is exhausting. This is the space I am currently in. It’s been creeping up on me since the end of September 2021 and I hadn’t even realized it. Mainly because I was on some “push though it” behavior when I knew good and well I needed to pause and allow myself time to process “all the things”.

But did I do better since I knew better? Absolutely not! And instead, everything that has transpired over the last several months is smacking me right in my face. It has caught up. And it makes sense. Why wouldn’t it catch up? I knew this would happen sooner than later but I thought I could out run it. You know the problems and negative experiences we have. For some of us, we are so determined for life to not get the best of us that we end up sabotaging ourselves.

We have to be mindful of our game plan. Is my current approach to how I am dealing with things even working? We have to be honest with ourselves in our answers. I knew my escapism behavior was not conducive to living a caged free life, instead I was boxing myself in and now here I am. Using what little energy I have to pump out this message to you all.

Serving others is typically my saving grace. It feels good, it gives me hope and encouragement but it can’t be my end all to be all. I figured well, I’ll just throw myself into this work and the other stuff-my personal stuff will just magically go away. But, the reality is, this isn’t a Disney movie. This is life and as beautiful life can be, it can also be so incredibly hard emotionally. And I am tired.

I know what I need to do and I’ve been working on it through this struggle. I keep reminding myself what I know to be true. It’s okay to sit still and just be. It is okay to allow your brain and body to feel all the pain you are experiencing. Trust that that same brain and body knows how to protect you if you just allow it that space and time. There is healing between space and time.

So if you are reading this and you are currently experiencing your own mini or major episode of depression as I am, give it space and give it time. Don’t be afraid to feel all the icky feelings that come along with this. Remind yourself of who you are and the things you’ve accomplished up to this point. Remember that feelings and emotions are temporary experiences and we can learn from them if we open ourselves to it. I know the struggle is real. I am in the belly of the beast right now myself. But I have no intentions to stay here. I will find my way out of this hole eventually once I can clear my mind by allowing space and time. Stay encouraged!

With Love, Gratitude & Light,

-E