Vanity.

Today during my med clinic to change the dressings on my lower leg where my burn are I had a moment of “oh my God, what will be the end result of how my legs will look after all of this”.

I laid my head back and tears continued to fall but not only due to the physical pain I was experiencing in that moment. But the emotional pain. I found that my mind wanted to take me to places that were rooted in negativity and self defamation of character.

I am sure you are familiar that defamation of character is the result of a fraudulent statement or action of another individual. But sometimes we can do this to ourselves with our negative thinking. 

I had to decide, again in that moment. Is this what we are about to do E? Are we about to beat ourself up or change the narrative. I decided to tell myself, you know what it’s okay to be concerned (not worried) about how the final appearance and outcome of your legs will be. But for now, we are still healing. Let’s heal and then cross that bridge when we get there. 

What I was able to do for myself in that moment was acknowledge, validate and recognize how I was feeling and not minimize and nurture myself with kind words. This takes time and practice and even I still do not get it right. But be easy on yourself, like you would someone else.

Managing my thoughts also supported in managing my pain. I felt my anxiety going up as I contemplated the narrative about how the  appearance of my legs could potentially be. Increased anxiety puts stress on the body which then turns into the experience of psychosomatic symptoms that manifest into real and true pain.

My legs are beautiful and they are mine. That’s the end of the story. Don’t allow vanity to be the bane of your existence. That could destroy your life. You are so much bigger and deeper than that!
With love & light- E